Is being single not your choice that you have to scream every now and then I NEED A BOYFRIED or put AVAILABLE on social sites? Or is it fun being single hanging around and having more than one guy to date? Is it so good to have some “Hangout” buddies and still keeping your options available? I mean window shopping or browsing through the heat on social media is cool but you just can’t call dibs on every piece of hot pie around. OR do you already have someone out there to exchange tiniest bit of thought your human mind can produce? Anything from the size of your shoes to the flavour of macaroon you just had at le 13. And you do that and more while being committed to someone else physically and emotionally? That is exactly what Oprah calls an emotional affair. Do you moral-shame yourself for that emotional affair or was the emotional affair allowed on the cheat-sheet with your current? Those flirtatious texts or heart to heart at Macy’s does really mean anything? Or are you the someone stuck between the ex and the next? (i have hell lot of people coming and asking if they should take back their ex or just ditch the past and move on to the next one ).When you have that someone who loves you unconditionally and you just don’t wanna heat that up reason being, FRIENDSHIP IS COOL AND WAY MORE IMPORTANT AND YOU DONOT WANT TO RUIN THAT. You will be the cynical little brat and throw all the shit about your crush on his face and he will just nod in affirmation holding his shit together. I mean he doesn’t have much of a choice, he wouldn’t lose a good friend whom he shares his Louboutins and Zaras with, but it really hurts sometimes! It does and you would know this only if you have been that guy! Trust me! he won’t take that shit forever and time will come he’d really want to bid an adieu, i mean there’s only so much someone can take! How long he has to convince himself that someday you’d take him? Is that the best you can be? You want your friends to be there for you without any expectations while you are having best of the both worlds, I mean its okay to have the cake and eat it too but better is to share with someone who loves it more than you do!
Do you get we are done message uttered loud and clear, not in words but in his action and still all you do is cling on a hope of one last miracle before the world turns upside down? Is that the time when one of you say, “Bae, I am bored with spaghetti and now I need some sausages” May be it’s the time to accept life as skinny-fat-ass roller coaster ride and destiny, a finicky little bitch! Is this the time you forget those white picket fence in a country promises and haul your bruised ass to the shrink’s office or you had your reinvent yourself exit planned in all eat pray love manner all along? Was seeing him every weekend with your discounted air indigo vouchers for late Friday night Ahmadabad-Mumbai flight worth the effort and the time? Well may be that’s the reason he loves pushing you beyond the boundaries without having to be afraid of losing you. He may have loved you fashionably for being swaggering, muscle bound juvenile delinquent but it wasn’t going to be same forever! And after 8 long years you’re still there screaming, honey I need some more F-ing Spaghetti, just because you love the label “in relationship” or that’s all you got to flaunt on your social media (well except your new Moschino Sneakers or the DRVV jacket). Or there was someone else involved, in whole the best friend and the boyfriend endeavours, and were you the bad guy and now getting that shit shoved in your face? If yes then the big city will sound so small when you’re afraid to bump into him getting your morning Starbuck fix or at having hot Panini at Uncle Sam’s. May be its the time you accept you are not the Chuck Bass dating Allegra Versace (or the Serena Van der Woodsen dating Christiano Ronaldo) and there’s no way Paris gateway to your east side fairytale.
Had there been a chances of someone coming along, would you have waited on a stone table or you were just too cynical to get the war with The White Witch over with, out of your amateurish ways, you would rather take your chances and end up hurting the ones you love the most? Yourself is the most important self for you and you do what you want and despite the known collateral damage you have to take the high road and find yourself in the most miserable pain of your life. And then all of sudden you realise that’s not you! You & him may have been the dopey and grumpy all your life but when that collateral damage hit the rock bottom, you make Monroe and bobby sound much better. The phase of your life when all your conversations with him starts with boo and ends with bae may not be the best but you like to put on the best stilettos to walk that walk, talk about what you had for lunch and bombard that all on a social media for the world to see. The reality around you has moved along, from the expectations of glass sandals to Louboutins, or from overalls to drop crotch pants and yet you are the same mess you have always been and who to blame? What went wrong? Is it his denial to pony up the good stuff, something you used to get for free? Had there been a time to trade his good deeds for your indignity, would there have been slightest change in your current state of mind? Is your metro-sexual life a literal derivation of learning of the words like Man-whore, Boy-browsing, Thigh-brows, sexcapade, Man-spreading or Bro-jobs courtesy of the cosmopolitan life that we lead? You say you don’t do relationships you just date, Is that out of your insecurities of breaking up into terrible twos later? Would your decision not to do a relationship remain unchanged if she/he were a Victoria’s Secret Angel/ Andrew Christian Model? Isn’t your shirtless selfies or where you had your cold-decafe-mocha enough to snapchat that you have to fake sarcasms now and then?
Are there times in your life when you felt so down, all you did was to shut all the doors connecting your emotions to the outer world or otherwise? That deep down you were so empty you’d never give a damn about what is happening around or beneath you? That every sound around is just a cranky noise echoing out-loud deep into your ears? Is the inertia so intense, you have everything and yet nothing matters, not a thing, no friends, no Buscemi Sneakers? OR is that the bad relationship you are in? Did you feel without a shadow of a doubt once in a life that you were at a right place? Do those sweet – can’t live without each other – feelings and all those cheese-cakes & cappuccinos you had together sound mistakes and just reminiscing it adds much to your misery? Did those all sweet acts of carving your names together on stones or on beach sand sounds most stupid things you ever did? Did you actually cultivate all sort of nifty qualities that she (/he) holds into yourself so bad that both you sounded a perfect together? Did folding his (/her) delicates and making him/(her) a perfect breakfast in bed sound so good then and is now the time you go nuts even having a thought about it? When planning your Santorini- Mykonos romantic gateway , did you ever really considered the uncertainty beholding the future? Or did you just jump in a relation without a clue of what you were getting yourself into or you never defined what you had with her (/him)? And in that case were you so afraid to define the relationship as it would be limiting the scope of it! Did you think it through (well, except for those beautifully shaped jaw lines or perfectly trained thighs of his/hers)? Had that been such a madness holding it through and let the storm pass by? Or just because you had so much invested in a relationship, so many years and emotions that letting it go would be more hurtful than holding it for uncertainty? You had the slightest glimpse of what it’d turn out to be, would you’ve been in that relation all along? Was that happy – she/he consuming you totally– phase just an infatuation that the only way you can placate your nerves and recover is by becoming infatuated with someone else?
(PS feel free to drop your comments if you have something to say)